Letters to my husband
Letter to my husband
I saw you yesterday and I know you saw me too, but you just passed me as if you hadn’t. I shouted your name really loud but you just kept walking as if I wasn’t there. Was my voice not loud enough and did you not see my smile?
Even when I walked into the house too, you behaved still with scorn. The way you looked at me and smirked your face made me cry. I could not show you though the tears in my eyes because then you could see the defeat I felt that very moment. Instead when I went to the bathroom I just laid in there and I cried. I cry a million times but I just never show you.
I don’t know where it all went wrong that you treat me worse than my own fears. I gave you the beauty of my youth and I gave you all my essence of being a woman. I gave birth to our 3 beautiful children but all I have now is scars that will never fade away.
I went to the doctor yesterday too and when he asked me about the bruises all over my body I just said I was clumsy and fell down the stairs, one time too many. You know every time you raise your hand at me, you take away a piece of my soul. I think I am just an empty shell of a person without a soul considering the number of times you have hit on me and pushed me against the wall. I see the specks of my blood on the wall when I am going up the staircase and no matter how much I wash the walls even with bleach the spots just don’t fade at all.
This house which we bought to call a home is a prison for me. No matter how much heating I put on its still cold for me. I shiver every time I walk through the door even in summer when it is hot outside. My heart pounds really hard, this was meant to be a safe place for me and you know my history.
You know how when I was a young girl that man who was meant to be my guardian abused me and my mama just looked on. You know I was hooked onto drugs and thrown into soliciting just to survive. You know the streets were rough on me. The ghetto corrupted me. You know my life almost ended when I cut my wrists one time too many and I lost so much blood out there on the streets before they found me. You know too how hard it was to have a child because of the abortion I had after the rape when I was 12. My husband you came and you promised me it was all going to be fine.
I got off the streets into this amazing building which was meant to be my security place and here you are today worse than anything I had never imagined.
Please my husband just don’t hit me anymore or raise your hand at me. I am at the point of losing my mind and I am afraid I might lift these tiny worn out hands and take you out. Please I beg you don’t let my children grow without their parents, because I know I will snap one day.
I hope you will read this letter after your dinner and reply me in the morning.
There are things that everyone should know in life and they form the fundamentals of how we relate to each other. I am often left gobsmacked so to speak when people become envious of other people. It is an outright sin before the heavens to allow a spirit of envy or jealousy settle in your character. My gifts are not your gifts. The anointing that is upon my life is not equal to yours, it may be greater or lesser depending on the circumstances. No two people can ever be the same. So you may plot to bring someone down and be green with envy but you can never be like them. Know when to be competitive and whatever else the little imps in us want you to do. After all God is an infinite being so a child of the most high has unseen strength that others cannot compete against. Does it not say that a thousand shall at the side and ten thousand on the right hand side, yet nothing will touch he who dwells under the shadow of the almighty as God in his supremacy commands Angels to lift you up, lest you dash your foot against a stone. Friends do not drivel in envy and conspiracy, for when the Lion of the tribe of Judah sees the precious tears of his children he will cause havoc upon your enemies
To the woman I love
You are the most beautiful woman in the world. Spending time with you on our date was the most appreciated thing I have done in years. Its almost as if for so many lifetimes I was missing a link, and in the moment I laid my eyes on you that missing piece in the puzzle finally fell into place. Your presence in my life has made me see that all the mistakes I made were just a way of making me wait for perfect to come along. Now I can say that my life is a masterpiece painted and ready for display.
I will lay my life down for you and the children, those that are here and those yet to grace us with their presence. I am asking please allow me to be a part of you. I will do all that I can and more with the help from above to protect and defend you, to love and cherish you. It will be the greatest honour if you would go out with me on yet another date.
From a man who loves you beyond words
LETTERS FROM THE OTHER SIDE OF MIDNIGHT
My name is Keisha and I once was a mistress to Chris. I was the major contributing factor to him divorcing his wife Kadija and leaving his three boys. I was gleeful when he told me all the bad things he had done to Kadija. I thought I was a queen and that my outward beauty would take me places. I never thought I will cry tears like a river. I am now also a single mother. After Chris divorced Kadija we were living the high life and when it was found out that Chris was stealing he lost his job. Money ran out and I left him. I did not know by then that I was HIV positive because it turns out I wasn’t the only young woman in his life. There were 6 other mistresses and not to mention his other one night stands on his so called business trips. I found out my condition when I was 8 months pregnant. I nearly jumped off the bridge that day.
It really is true what goes around comes around. I really should have been kind to Kadija. I heard she got born again and I think she put a spell on me. Someone told me that once you get born again God will make your enemies your footstool. They say he answers prayers by fire and he sends mighty armies to fight for his children. They say he is quoted as saying vengeance is his and that no one should touch his anointed ones. How the hell was I supposed to know that a ghetto woman like Kadija was the apple of Gods eye. She is too ordinary but they say anyone who seeks and worships him is of the Royal Priesthood. I wish someone had given me the heads up that I was dealing with a fiery fire.
I also heard that he slew the mighty men of pharaoh and king Jaben’s army even though he had Cisera who had been fighting from his youth and he had 900 chariots. I am shaking in my boots because this God that Kadija is worshipping is mighty. I really have to ask for forgiveness. I heard this frightening story is in a book called 2 Kings or something like that. Also they say he causes rain to turn into fire and he commands all elements to bow down to his will.
To every other woman who thinks it is ok to break a family please learn from me because anyone is Gods anointed.
I will write to Kadija and ask her forgiveness
Day 20 Letters. The jealous ex husband writes
I saw you yesterday Kadija with that man who always ogles at you whenever you pass by. I have been keeping an eye on you you know and I am very upset that you have started dating. Who was looking after the boys when you were busy having a rendezvous with that young man. Don’t kid yourself and think that he loves you because he is way too refined to fall in love with someone like you. He is a very eligible bachelor and most definitely would not want to be tied down with someone who has 3 children. He is just playing you.
You will never be good enough for anyone like him. If you continue going out on dates with men, I am calling Child Protection. I do not want my children endangered and neglected. You are being irresponsible and proving to be an unfit mother. Stay away from these dates. You have been warned.